Dec 12, 2022
This week on the Marina Perry Podcast, Marina is joined once again by Lauren Violet for a second dive into the topic of sexuality, sexual trauma, and the ever-evolving relationship we have with sex. How sexually free we are is not directly related to how much sex we’re having, but rather how we approach the concepts of sex and sexuality.
For Lauren, she was raised to view sex was for married people, not for pleasure or fun, and taking part in it outside of marriage was viewed as sinful. For most of her early life she abstained because that was what she thought she was supposed to do. As a teen, she indulged in other pleasures, but she knew she didn’t want to have a one-on-one relationship, get married, or have kids. She didn’t identify as monogamous, or even heterosexual, and many of her first sexual experiences were with women.
In her twenties, she fell in love with a man and explored a monogamous path. After the breakdown of that relationship, she abstained from sex despite having embraced it during the relationship and discovered she really enjoyed it. Her decision to abstain was a direct result from sexual trauma within that relationship. Sexual trauma, assault, and violation typically happen with someone you know and is not uncommon in domestic relationships. It happens across all genders, in all walks of life, all relationships, and we have to move through them. They are a part of our sexual evolution.
If you or someone you know is experiencing or dealing with an older experience, reach out to someone. There are people trained in sexual trauma that can help you through that experience.
As part of her evolution and healing, Lauren explored many different types of relationships before transitioning into an exclusive polyamorous relationship and then ultimately pivoting back to monogamy. An exclusive polyamorous relationship is between three or more people where all people involve are only dating each other. Relating and communication between partners is challenging whether you have one or multiple, and whether a relationship works or not is not based on the style, but on the effectiveness of the individual, communication, and emotional regulation.
There’s a fluidity to how we relate to one another that’s present even in couples. How our context evolves will change the trajectory of how we relate to others, and it’s important that we feel safe to explore the ebbs and flows of our evolution whichever way it takes us. Exploring our own sexuality and embracing our natural evolution allows us to better connect with ourselves and our partner(s). Listen now to learn more about Lauren Violet, sexual evolution, and working through sexual trauma.
What You Will Learn: