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Jun 15, 2020

On this episode of the Marina Perry Podcast, Marina interviews a self-love, intimacy, and relationship coach, EJ Love. EJ is also an international best-selling author of the book, Become the One, which centers around loving oneself through self-marriage and self-love. 


Marina kicks off the podcast with EJ’s three-year journey of writing her book, and EJ explains to the listeners what it was like for her to heal and write Become the One. She thinks this book will particularly resonate with those who have experienced unhealthy relationships with narcissistic abusers and codependency, and that it explains how and why certain people attract this type of personality. EJ even admits that within the relationship, she acted out of character due to the abuse, and she gets raw with her readers within the book. 


Marina and EJ go deeper with their listeners as EJ explains what narcissism and codependency is in a relationship, and how to spot these in your own relationship or with a partner. EJ explains narcissism as a spectrum of narcissistic traits (that everyone may have a few of), but the extreme end of the spectrum may point toward one having a personality disorder. Lacking empathy is a main factor of narcissism and narcissistic personalities, but there are different types of narcissism, EJ explains. Codependency and narcissism usually go hand-in-hand as one partner tries to cope with their narcissistic other to feel that they have received love.  


Marina asks EJ if codependency is also a spectrum like narcissism, and EJ confirms that though everyone may have some degree of codependency, there is an unhealthy end of the spectrum where one is too dependent on their partner to feel sure in oneself. EJ suggests to follow your intuition, and that it’s a big red flag whenever a partner does not respect your boundaries. There are many different kinds of red flags for the different types of narcissists, but EJ explains that how one talks about their ex-partners is also a big indication if someone may be a narcissist. 


Marina then turns the podcast over to EJ for her to explain her top tips in moving more toward self-love and improving one’s own view of themself. Together, they touch on the topics of shame, setting boundaries, personal values, and being present in the moment.  


EJ closes the podcast with her story of self-marriage and how she came to hold a self-marrying ceremony. After her journey of self-marriage, EJ faces relationships from a place of wholeness where she doesn’t solely rely on another person to receive love.  


Things You Will Learn

  1. What influenced and inspired EJ to write Become the One
  2. What narcissism is and how you can spot it in a partner
  3. What codependency is, and when it becomes unhealthy in a relationship 
  4. EJ’s own story about self-marriage and tips toward self-love


External Links

EJ Love’s website:


EJ Love’s book:


EJ’s recommendations:

The Queen’s Code:


The Conscious Uncoupling Course:


Social Media

Did something from today’s episode resonate with you? Have any feedback? If so, shoot me a DM on Instagram: @iammarinaperry

Want to connect with EJ Love? Links to her social media are below:

EJ Love’s YouTube Channel:


nstagram: @ejloveofficial